Uncontrollable tear ducts in my eyes

Now I don't know if I've just gotten soft and emotional (I mean more than I usually am), but in the most recent times, I've come to find that I've lost all control of my tear ducts. I cry at times that I shouldn't in front of people that I shouldn't, and I end up humiliating myself.

Even the simplest things like emotional commercials or people getting voted off reality shows makes me tear up now. Aghhh when did I become such a baby???

Oh and speaking of eyes, I finally ordered these. Like 'em?

Computer games from the yesteryear

B's been gone on his week long camping/canoing Algonquin trip with his dad and I've been trying to hold on to my sanity petsitting (*grumble grumble*). I couldn't stand having no agenda, not working, and not being with my boo at first, but my weekend has consisted of:
- Cleaning B's place up while he's gone
- Shopping and scheming up some plans for B's upcoming birthday
- Dogsitting (and fish sitting, if you count B's tank)
- Computer games with my guhguh

The weekend and my day off turned out great. I've really been able to focus on a weekend project of cleaning/organizing B's room and bathroom, juggle playing dog mommy spending quality time with my doggy and the dog I'm pet sitting in beautiful weather, and indulge in old computer games with my brother until odd hours of the night. I haven't thought much about all the drama going on at work, I've thought a lot about some of the best memories B and I have had in our relationship. I've been able to catch up with a few friends, 've cooked a bit, cleaned a ton, and worked out quite a bit too.

Tim and I played The Sims all weekend, and I'm thinking about whipping out Lemonade Stand or Oregon Trail next weekend. We'll see. After all, I don't want to get too addicted.

Goodbye weekend - I'm not sure what will happen in the next few weeks with this internship and with preparing to leave for school but I'm reminded just to enjoy the ones I love, my baby doggy, the weather, and my health.

Day 1 of being without my babyyy

Missing you :( Pictures from Red Bull Air Race and one of our potlucks at Farzin's:

I've come to the conclusion

I take what I said back from my last post.

Working at Ricardo is like being in an abusive relationship.

Just gotta keep on truckin' I guess

It seems that lesson that has surfaced the most recently in my life is that "you just can't have it all".

I feel like different parts of my life are becoming unbelievably difficult while other parts of my life are excelling beyond belief. It is overwhelming to try to find a balance between things that make me cry because I am upset and thinks that make me cry because I'm happy.

While the situation with my family has been at the lowest of lows in all my life, my continuing struggle at work has taken a sharp turn for the better.

I recently had an extremely intense meeting with the President of Ricardo (who I currently report to due to an absence of leadership in the department), his executive assistant, and a marketing manager who has come and gone to her convenience since the same time I started working there.

We were able to sort out a lot of frustrating issues: this problem of incompetence with HR that has canceled my UK internship, this marketing manager who has been irresponsible and cannot commit to her job, me feeling undervalued in comparing my salary to my responsibilities, the overwhelming number of projects and upcoming events I don't have time for but don't have help with, the ongoing issue of not being able to fill the VP of BusDev/Marketing role, and what I need to do to transition what is left of this department when I leave for school in the fall.

I ended up riding with him through a Taco Bell drive-thru for lunch to continue the conversation before the next meeting he had that day. It sounds like a weird thing to do but it was a big step in another frustration I've been having, which is that I don't usually get along with him to begin with.

I am losing motivation the motivation to continue to work through these challenges in my life. It's hard to see the good through the bad, but as I isolate all of the parts of my life, I try to keep focusing on each individual situation and do what I can.