... I would say to myself if I went to myself for advice.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
I can't escape myself
I've been dealing with a few things lately that are new to me:
- Feeling like the overprotective, jealous, controlling girlfriend (and feeling guilty for it)
- Feeling inefficient and walked all over at work (and feeling like I don't know what to do about it)
- Feeling pathetically lonely at home with only my doggy to talk to
About a week ago, I woke up from sleeping next to B feeling completely panicked about something from awhile ago. I got up to get some water and fell back asleep thinking of every possible way I could fix the problem... a year after it has happened. It's weird what happens to one's brain during sleep.
- Feeling like the overprotective, jealous, controlling girlfriend (and feeling guilty for it)
- Feeling inefficient and walked all over at work (and feeling like I don't know what to do about it)
- Feeling pathetically lonely at home with only my doggy to talk to
About a week ago, I woke up from sleeping next to B feeling completely panicked about something from awhile ago. I got up to get some water and fell back asleep thinking of every possible way I could fix the problem... a year after it has happened. It's weird what happens to one's brain during sleep.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat
There are days when I leave work feeling like I just spent my whole day getting pooped on (and getting paid for it). It's hard for me to remember the big picture when all I can see are the insecurities that keep me from accomplishing what I hope I'm capable of.
PS - I lied. I guess the internship is not set in stone. It turns out, HR will not make as many exceptions for me as Raul assumed they could, and I don't meet a lot of the qualifications the internship "package" requires. Stay tuned, it's not over yet.
PS - I lied. I guess the internship is not set in stone. It turns out, HR will not make as many exceptions for me as Raul assumed they could, and I don't meet a lot of the qualifications the internship "package" requires. Stay tuned, it's not over yet.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Music please (buh nuhnuhnuh buh nuhnuhnuh...)
(Benny Benassi - California Dreaming Remix)
So many exciting things in the works right now! I sat down and had several meetings with our Global BusDev/Marketing director and it is set in stone that I will be going to work at one of our UK offices for a portion of the summer!
Everyone has been sooo supportive and hospitable about it, I'm so touched I don't know what to say. Before I had even been sure I was going, people were already recommending me places to go and their relatives to stay with, Claude called some of his guys to tell them they have to take care of me and show me around town when I arrive, I've already have several people (including another global executive!) ask me to have lunch with them when I arrive, and our Legal Counsel picked up the phone instantly when I was talking to him and called up his buddy who had just finished renovating an apartment to see if I could potentially stay there.
The group I'll be working with has already been talking about projects I can work on with them. I'm so stoked because this is the group I've been working with (through phone and email) for a few years now and I've always told everyone they have my dream jobs!
Talking with genuinely great executives always wow me with their intelligence, confidence, and insight. With Raul, I find myself trying to write down a lot of what he says just so I can remember exactly how he said it. Not like other executives who *ahem* tell you to your face that they don't want to pay anyone more than they are paying you to do your job -- and yes, this particular person actually said that to me after asking me who I'm passing my responsibilities to when I leave for school.
Speaking of which, I've decided that I will be transferring to GVSU the fall semester of 2008. There are a hundred reasons why and I could list them all out, but the main reason is that the school is a much better fit for me and the situation I'll be putting myself in will be more ideal than what I've been doing. Figured out there was something wrong with it, here's my attempt to change it and make it right. Otherwise I'll be stuck in school for the rest of my life.
Separately, Claude's new replacement started this past week. His name is Scott and I've been impressed with him so far. I shouldn't say he's Claude's new replacement though... I don't think anyone could every replace what Claude has been to me! But so far so good... I'm still keeping my guard up but I'll be excited to see what he does with our team.
The training courses I taught these past two weeks went well - each time I taught it, I'm happy to say I improved a lot from the previous course. My Flash presentation came out real well and I plan on making it interactive so it can be used as a stand alone application (I know that's not what Flash is for but I'm trying to cut PowerPoint out of my life). But from a management standpoint, I was truly challenged by some complicated questions and by some of the most executive members of our company, including our global IT director who was in town for the week.
So many exciting things in the works right now! I sat down and had several meetings with our Global BusDev/Marketing director and it is set in stone that I will be going to work at one of our UK offices for a portion of the summer!
Everyone has been sooo supportive and hospitable about it, I'm so touched I don't know what to say. Before I had even been sure I was going, people were already recommending me places to go and their relatives to stay with, Claude called some of his guys to tell them they have to take care of me and show me around town when I arrive, I've already have several people (including another global executive!) ask me to have lunch with them when I arrive, and our Legal Counsel picked up the phone instantly when I was talking to him and called up his buddy who had just finished renovating an apartment to see if I could potentially stay there.
The group I'll be working with has already been talking about projects I can work on with them. I'm so stoked because this is the group I've been working with (through phone and email) for a few years now and I've always told everyone they have my dream jobs!
Talking with genuinely great executives always wow me with their intelligence, confidence, and insight. With Raul, I find myself trying to write down a lot of what he says just so I can remember exactly how he said it. Not like other executives who *ahem* tell you to your face that they don't want to pay anyone more than they are paying you to do your job -- and yes, this particular person actually said that to me after asking me who I'm passing my responsibilities to when I leave for school.
Speaking of which, I've decided that I will be transferring to GVSU the fall semester of 2008. There are a hundred reasons why and I could list them all out, but the main reason is that the school is a much better fit for me and the situation I'll be putting myself in will be more ideal than what I've been doing. Figured out there was something wrong with it, here's my attempt to change it and make it right. Otherwise I'll be stuck in school for the rest of my life.
Separately, Claude's new replacement started this past week. His name is Scott and I've been impressed with him so far. I shouldn't say he's Claude's new replacement though... I don't think anyone could every replace what Claude has been to me! But so far so good... I'm still keeping my guard up but I'll be excited to see what he does with our team.
The training courses I taught these past two weeks went well - each time I taught it, I'm happy to say I improved a lot from the previous course. My Flash presentation came out real well and I plan on making it interactive so it can be used as a stand alone application (I know that's not what Flash is for but I'm trying to cut PowerPoint out of my life). But from a management standpoint, I was truly challenged by some complicated questions and by some of the most executive members of our company, including our global IT director who was in town for the week.
Friday, March 28, 2008
And they call me the eternal intern
"Tammy, I wish you were like 3 years older and working for me because then I'd give you a job and a good salary and tell you to set the world on fire!"
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