Panic is the new nighttime

School has started out great. I had a lot of trouble locking my schedule and classes in place, but I have some really great classes and really great professors this semester. My Econ professor seems to be a very cultured and aware person who has a very clear and concise teaching style, yy Comp professor is maybe as old as my grandma but has a very child-like spirit and a sense of humor, and my Political Science professor seems like a very involved person who thinks logically (so hopefully, teaches logically too). Like I mentioned before, I met some really cool people in my PoliSci class (one who turned out to be the little brother of an old friend's best friend!) and we now go on these weekly TGIFriday's outings after class every Thursday.

But despite how truly excited I am about my new classes and professors (except math, of course) and new buddies I've met, I have been sleeping terribly and having a hard time with myself.

I lay my head down on my pillows and then begin to panic while I try to fall asleep. A few nights ago, I was so overwhelmed with something on my mind that my body began to tense up and I started having uncontrollable muscle spasms in my legs. I felt like my arms were going numb, I started sweating, and my heart was racing. So finally I forced myself up to play with the puppy who was sitting in his little cagey next to me and watching me) until he dozed off, then I got some random paper on my dresser and started writing out my thoughts until I was too tired to write anymore.

I think I need a... what's the word? Something... some way of forcing myself to release all of this inside of me so that it doesn't eat me up when the only time I have to think about it is when I go to sleep. If I had the time and money, I would like to go back to train with Jay at his new school. But the program is not stable and I could see him easily moving the school in a few months (thinking that he has a better plan to make more money and get more students).