("Duck and Run" - Three Doors Down)
I laid down at 11:30 after coffee with Winky, buying spray roses (which are adorable), some hard lemonade with leftover stuffed cabbage from the party, and D coming over and fixed some stuff at my house. It's now freakin' 1:30am and my mind is racing, and I'm panicking.
Part of me just wants to close my eyes (figuratively) and machine through these fears without thinking about how numbing it will become, part of me is freaking out. I've come to the realization that: I've changed my mind about everything I've thought about everytime I've thought about it in the last few weeks, which pretty much means I need some time to re-think things for myself. Yeah that sentence made more sense in my head.
Last night I had this ridiculous dream about a war that involved everyone in my life. Completely randomly, I was fighting with and against people from every part of my life as I ran for my life, dodged bullets, hid, and ultimately, woke up when a huge explosion almost killed me. I woke up numb, heart racing, sweating, kicking my blankets off, and clutching my pillow like my life depended on it. Wow, what is going on with me?
How in the heck am I going to juggle school with Ricardo?
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