Saturday, March 28, 2009

Half-heartedly

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I'll be home again before you know it

So a lot has been happening. A lot.

Ricky.
Despite how angry I was when I left and vowed not to go back, I went in to Ricardo over spring break to sit down and have sort of an interview with the new Bus Dev VP, although it ended up being less of an interview and more of (what seemed like) him trying to convince me that Ricardo has not been following the same trend as the economy in Michigan. The only question he actually asked me was about what I want to do when/if I go back. I guess he's just waiting for the financial side of it to be approved before he can give me an answer. So we'll see. A job is a job.

Marketing
Well I've been thinking a lot about switching my degree from Marketing to Accounting. A few thoughts I have with this:
1. I probably won't actually do it, because despite my interest in Accounting, I actually haven't done that well in it, and I think it would take me so much longer to graduate just because it would be difficult for me. At this point, I just want to graduate as quickly as possible and be done with it.
2. It hit me that I have only had experience in certain aspects of Marketing that aren't necessarily considered Marketing, such as heavy experience in PR and graphic design. Do I actually know I would like it? Not really. I haven't actually taken any "MKT" classes yet, in fact I've taken two Accounting classes and a few other business classes I enjoyed (law and MIS).
3. If I end up having to take a job more relate towards advertising, I really think I would run into a moral dilemma in selling something or selling something someway I don't agree with. We were talking about the "sexism/sex sells" part of advertising in one of my classes, and I think I have a real issue with having anything to do with that. In comparison, a big part of Accounting is in ethics that I find very interesting.

Dreams and Nightmares
I have been consistently having dreams and nightmares bringing back people and other things I haven't thought about in so long. I lay awake restless until at least 3 in the morning thinking about all these things and trying to fall asleep thinking about good things. Regardless, all of this has been occupying my mind 24/7, and I feel like I need to do something to reconcile or settle these things. I just don't know what.

People I've Lost
A part of the dreams and nightmares I've been having are related to people I've lost contact with. Coincidentially, I spotted one of them at one of the most random places recently, I was emailed by one, and contacted by another. Lots of mixed emotions. I'm one to cause more drama than needed because I always feel the need to say what I'm thinking/feeling, but I'm trying to restrain myself from making a fool out of myself talking to someone who might not even care.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

My brain plays tricks on me while I sleep

I had a dream a few nights ago where I was in an apartment (I think it was my apartment but it was a made up place in my head) and I was slowly making piles of stuff. Most of it was B's work clothes for some reason, and the rest of it were random kitchen gadgets that I was putting in boxes. I kept looking at the clock and freaking out that there was something I was missing, and then I saw the time was 8:10pm. For some reason, I thought to myself that it secretly meant that in 8 hours and 10 minutes, an earthquake would come and split the building right down the middle.

My mom arrived and I told her I was packing and needed help loading everything into the car, and I explained to her we had to get moving really fast. I looked at the clock again and it was 8:30pm, and then I realized that the earthquake was going to happen at 9:00pm so I flipped out and told her we had 30 minutes to load everything up. Instead of neatly packing things, her and I just started picking up piles of stuff and running it down 3 flights of stairs to the car. I was panicking because we were running out of time, and I saw that it was now 8:50pm. I told her we had to get in the car and drive away so we wouldn't get hurt. I grabbed my yellow blankie and ran down the flight of stairs, jumped in the car, and we drove off as a huge force split the earth apart splitting the apartment building right down the middle.

And that's when I woke up.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Moved B in to his new apartment


He bought me flowers :)