I think about whatever is currently bothering me, then I stop and realize it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because no extra people in poverty or no starving children are ever going to be helped or fed because I'm sitting here worrying about something that means nothing, really. It's just excess drama.
But then I never solve anything.
Or on the flip side, I freak out about something that is nothing and think of every possible outcome to try to prepare for anything that might happen. I waste time worrying and then become so shaken from all the worrying that the problem isn't even what's really the problem anymore.
I need to figure out how to balance myself. I also need to figure out what I want/need/don't want/don't need.
The last 3 days have been the most crazy emotional rollercoaster I've been through in forever.
Yesterday while at work, Kyle called to tell me he was leaving today (at 2am) to drive back to KS. So I went to see him in the evening and it was weird for me. Not talking with him or seeing him but packing and hearing about how he's leaving Michigan again. And it felt like the first time he left when we tried to stay together. I don't know why but I started crying and this morning I woke up with puffy eyes again.
I think I have a problem. I think I don't know how to be alone.
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